Let Me Be Blunted...

 

 

I don’t like using the word hate but sometimes it pops up in my head.

Sometimes an emotion rises inside you gut and then into your head. When the emotion just overwhelms you in the moment it’s best if you just ride the wave. That is exactly what I’m doing and this post will be short and “sweet”.

 I have recently started lessening my social media intake on a day-to-day bases and it has helped my many moods!? Unfortunately, today I doom scrolled for a few hours and for a short period of time felt stable. But because we live in the world we live in, I soon found myself scrolling to find something to stop the emotional bleeding. Just to be clear not everything I scrolled on was bad but seeing so many people living their best lives just pulled my focus too hard. Obviously, I didn’t find anything but I knew I wouldn’t. Just watching videos of people living their lives, getting vaccines, making pizzas, and numerous other things always seem to strike a nerve.

 I acknowledge that I am at fault for scrolling so long but sometimes I like to believe in something more than myself. I like to imagine that I will stumble onto a video that will change my mood and tell me which shares of stock to buy or sell or trade or bitcoined. I also like to imagine that I can fly but that only happens when I mix my nighttime herbal medicines. I can also understand the effects of constant worrying or stress related anxiety and so I just want to say that I dislike what is happening right now. I am going to leave it right here! Once I post this I am going to get back on track with my normal night and do something creative. Yes it’s that easy for me and all of us to tell ourselves to change the inner monologue in hopes that everything else will follow too. So I’m going to turn on my diffuser and add some lavender oil to it. Turn on some LoFi hip hop and just to bolster my efforts in changing my narrative I am going to enjoy one of my favorite movies…

                       

Sorry to whom it may concern

 

Oui’d